This story grows funnier each time I read it...
God Moves is Mysterious Ways

By Kathryn Taylor

Here is another RAD family story. One cannot share this outside the circle, because all of those perfect, sane families would never understand.

Our dear, little eleven-year old RADish had an alarm on her door at night due to night wandering, food, and bathroom issues. It seemed to be containing the problem at hand.

One night, about two in the morning, I awoke straight out of bed. My nose was immediately assaulted with the most foul, rectal smell. I turned on the light; my Australian Shepherd had gotten sick and left pools of brown liquid much to the geographical likeness of the Great Lakes, all over our carpet. Moaning and groaning, I turned on the hall light to find the carpet shampoo machine. I noticed the gate at RADish's door had been moved out. I looked up; the alarm was turned off. I was sure I turned it on before bed… or had I? I looked into her room and she was not there! I turned on her light. I called out to my husband and told him she was gone. A million thoughts raced through my mind. I could not see how she could have gotten past the alarm without setting it off. Did someone come in and take her, like in one of those bizarre news' stories?
"Dee?, " I whisper-yelled, "Dee?!"

"I'm right here," a quiet voice says from the end of the hall.

"What are you doing out of your room?" I ask.

"Brandy (her dog) got out and came to my room. I was putting
her back in the laundry room," she says with the utmost sincerity.

"Yeah right," I think, as I remember that I had made chocolate
chip cookies that day. "Come here and let me smell your breath!" I
whisper-growled at her.

She comes over and huffs loud and strong in my face. I silently
hope she has eaten the cookies because bad breath on top of the odor of the Brown Lakes would be too much for my half-asleep brain to


I will not bore you with the discussion that ensued at much louder than a whisper. But the truth received was this: She would take her night-stand, carry it clear around her bed, put it in front of her door, climb up on it, reach her hand around and turn the alarm off. Then she would put her night-stand back and raid away. All of a sudden past mysteries fill my mind: the bed crumbs in the bed, the alarm off
in the morning when I could have sworn I'd turned it on. Dang it!! Duped by a child, again!!!!

I'm awake now; my left-handed brain compiling all the data. You know, that moment or two of silence, when it seems we have left our bodies. That moment when we are trying not to smack them into tomorrow before the sun rises. The moment we are thinking of what to say, so as not to appear any more stupid than we already are, yet wise enough to come up with some totally awesome consequence that will impress even those perfect, sane parents.

Here goes… " Oh, Dee, I can't believe you got up in the middle of the night just to help me clean up this mess!!! That is just so sweet of you. Wow! You really are trying to get better aren't you?"

As she begins to drain the lakes, I continue, "Do you have any idea how much God loves you? He surely does not want you to feel guilty with all that you've been sneaking and stealing. Would you believe that he loves you so much, that He would literally move the bowels of a dog just to wake up your mom so she could help you break this bad habit."

When all was cleaned up and Dee was back in bed, I lay there in amazement. I think that God would have such perfect timing. Who else but God could come up with such a perfect plan: To coincide her being up, with a dog's sudden urge. Dee was so good at being quiet, how else would I wake up but to so violent an aroma. So my fellow, imperfect, insane parents, when you're feeling like you are all alone in this battle and may even lose, remember God is on our side and we may be amazed at how He will move in our lives.

2001 All rights reserved, ã Kathryn Taylor
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