A journal-ed letter, never sent, of a true story……
Dear Ms. Social-Worker-
I heard you came to my house today. Someone told you we were abusing our kids. Did you come to rescue them? Did you know the young lady who turned us in was our foster daughter 7 years ago? ……Do you know we were the first family she did not run away from?…….Do you know we were the only foster-parents she ever called "Mom" and "Dad"?…..Do you know she lost her first baby when she was living with us? Social Services took her away and put her in the gangster daddy's home…..with his mother. Over the years, our foster daughter always ran back to us when she was in trouble. Last year, we threw a wedding together for her with two days notice. We brought her home six months later when her marriage fell apart. We gave her, her husband, and her three year-old daughter a place to stay when they got back together. They needed to get out of the city and away from the drugs and alcohol. Do you know we spent over a thousand dollars to build an apartment at our business for them? Do you know she got into a stupid argument with my husband the night before moving into it? She physically attacked him, threatened his life, and threatened to report us to you just to hurt us because our kids have attachment disorder? Three days after the argument, they came to get their stuff. My husband told them they could still move into the apartment. All they had to do was help with the utilities. Mrs. SW, do you know that they've been there for six months now? She got a dog, moved her birth-father in, won't speak to us, told her daughter to quit calling us Grandma and Grandpa, ran the water to overflow the septic, turned the heat up and opened the doors to drive up bills and they refuse to give us one penny because she uses all their money to by alcohol. Two weeks ago she attacked her husband. She blackened his eye, bloodied his nose, and bit his arms. She had him arrested, and kicked him out. We were done. We insisted they move out. They began to make threats of all kinds.
For safety reasons, my husband and I decided I had better leave early for a trip to visit my dad for Easter. That is when you came into the picture, Ms. SW., coming to our house with several officers, trying to intimidate my 13 year old, youngest son………….Our foster-daughter knew with all the attachment issues our kids had, you would be sure to misinterpret what goes on in our home and what kind of people we are. Our vacation has been ruined. I'm sick to death with worry about getting you to believe the truth. The kids are terrified that you will take them away…………They've been kicked out of their previous homes, but they've never been taken away. They are confused about why all this is happening.
It's been a week now, Mrs. SW, and we want to come home but we can't……..You see things have gotten worse with foster daughter and it's not safe. We can't sleep at night. I can't eat. (Not the kids though, nothing makes a RAD lose an appetite!) Everyone thinks we are fools for trying to help my foster-daughter and her family. Maybe we are, but that is love.
I decided to go see an old friend who has ties with the foster system. We agreed that we needed to take the steps necessary to have the kids checked, and to try and clear this up. We went to her local office and explained our dilemma. From there we called your office trying to reach you. We spoke to your supervisor who was very distraught. She insisted on this other county’s agent to immediately check our children's bodies while she held on the line. She was so very sure that we were going to be the next horror story on the five o'clock news. My children were horrified as they had to show their nakedness to a total stranger. Your Supervisor seemed to have calmed down by the time I got on the phone with her. It seems we have put out some of the fire until we get home. I hope you won't send a posse after us when we get home, now. The kids and I are much calmer now. They are actually talking and playing now. Thank God.
It's been a day or two now, and we are home. I have called to let you know we are back. You call to say you are coming on Friday. We are all anxious again. I have my best friend come over. I have a tape recorder ready. I have prayed until my knees are sore. You arrive. Your Crew cut is very, uh, interesting for a woman in child welfare. Good roll model. My twin son whispers to me that you remind him of the spider/doll in the movie “Toy Story”.
My youngest asks, "What, no police this time?" He could always say embarrassing things before I could stop him.
After a little small talk, you declare your intentions to interrogate my children privately. I try to protect them. You say you are the one protecting them. My daughter begins crying. My son declares, "Let's go,Lady…. Anytime…. anywhere," with a very "I'll take care of this, Mom”, attitude. God bless him. Out you go to try and suck some horrid tale from my son's heart with your very best tactics. We wait inside on pins and needles, holding a trembling daughter. Back he comes saying, "OK, Sis, here's what she's going to ask you…………" How sweet, he is trying to prepare her. Out she goes. We pray. She is much more talkative than he was……They come back in……. My daughter runs into my arms. She hates you! She won't even face you! What have you done?! I think she actually hates you more than me!!!! Hey, Cool!!……..You sit and rattle off the little list of "abuses" to me and say that they have answered all the questions satisfactorily, whatever the heck that means. How nice of you to give the children one of your business cards with your name, number and abuse hotline, just in case. Both of them, by the way, immediately threw them down on the table
when they came inside, each saying that they didn't want them at all. You tell me the case is closed in 30 days…….. if no more allegations are made………Now you're gone. My daughter is so upset she had to go to her room. I went in to check on her later. She was crying. She crawled into my arms and said that she doesn't think you believe her. She thinks you are going to come and take her away, anyway. She said that you asked her if she wanted to go to public school, where she would be safer, and not be home-schooled. What the heck do you mean by that!!!???……. SAFER!!!!?????…. Hello, when was the last time there was a shooting or an assault on the news at a home-school???? And you asked her if she felt safe here with 4 brothers? Did you forget that it was her birth family molesting her, not this one? Oh, and the 911 speech was priceless!!!……. Was that in case I take those little business cards of yours and sacrifice them to the garbage disposal? Would you think I was a good mother if I laminated them and put them on a chain around their necks?
when they came inside, each saying that they didn't want them at all. You tell me the case is closed in 30 days…….. if no more allegations are made………Now you're gone. My daughter is so upset she had to go to her room. I went in to check on her later. She was crying. She crawled into my arms and said that she doesn't think you believe her. She thinks you are going to come and take her away, anyway. She said that you asked her if she wanted to go to public school, where she would be safer, and not be home-schooled. What the heck do you mean by that!!!???……. SAFER!!!!?????…. Hello, when was the last time there was a shooting or an assault on the news at a home-school???? And you asked her if she felt safe here with 4 brothers? Did you forget that it was her birth family molesting her, not this one? Oh, and the 911 speech was priceless!!!……. Was that in case I take those little business cards of yours and sacrifice them to the garbage disposal? Would you think I was a good mother if I laminated them and put them on a chain around their necks? You told me you didn't know anything about RAD. How in the heck can you do your job well, and not know what RAD is??? Your reply to me? You are an Investigating Intake Worker and you do not need to know about it to do your job. Anyone else out there feel their skin crawling?????
Well, Ms. SW…….. I thank you so much for your time. You know, these kids try to make me look like a child abuser almost every day. That's what made this whole thing so terrifying. But the reality of your presence and what your obvious intentions were, made them realize how much they do not want to leave……. Made them know how much we love them…….. and how much they need us to protect them from people like you. Thank you so much for your help. I haven't seen them act this well at the same time in over a year. They are interacting, playing, laughing, talking, helping, and being a part. Thank you for "Protecting" them, and saving them from us.
Yours truly and literally,
Guilty before tried, Mother of RAD
