What if my RAD child were Pharoah...?
Let My RADlets Go!!
By Kathryn Taylor

I read my Bible a lot. It is amazing how many parallels I find in scripture that remind me of the trials and triumphs I go through as life plays itself out. I am a mom of 5. Two of my kids have severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Today, I find myself in Egypt. I see myself as Moses. My RADlets are the ever-hardened Pharaoh. Our friends, family and peers are the all too fickle Israelites.

God called Moses to go to Egypt to deliver his people from bondage.
Moses responds by telling God about all of his shortcomings, as if God had no clue. Then, God tells Moses that with His help he would be all right. Moses argued more, which angered God. For consolation, God told Moses that He would call Moses' brother Aaron to help him.

For those of you who know the story well, it gets pretty stressful
in Egypt before it is all said and done. The Israelites blame Moses
for the added hardships Pharaoh puts on them. Moses questions God's plans and intentions because of all the plagues and problems, even though God warned him twice that Pharaoh would stubbornly refuse to cooperate. But in the end, all the drama of the Exodus was to bring glory to God.

As I bring this story to life within my own, I try to see what God
was doing with Moses, and wondering what He could possibly be doing in my life today. Like Moses, I find myself whining to God that I am ill-equipped to parent my RADlets. This mentality did not please God with Moses. So, when I find myself grumbling and complaining, I try to lean more on God and trust that He will equip me with what I need to accomplish this task of deliverance.

I wonder… if I had known up front that our RADlets would not get
better, would I have taken on this task? Would I have worked so
hard to raise these kids if I had known that absolutely nothing we
tried, or how much suffering we endured, would not make a difference? These kids are so much like Pharaoh was. No matter what he had to lose or go through, he was still going to be so stubborn and not budge. No matter how much the Egyptians were going to suffer through each plague because his stubbornness didn’t seem to matter to him.

How did Moses carry on in faith, doing what God told him to, watching the pain and destruction of the land, enduring the condemnation of the very people he had been sent to deliver? What was the point of it all? God was looking for trust and obedience from Moses. God was looking to strengthen the Israelites' faith. Everything that happened in Egypt was to bring glory to God, and to prepare Moses and the Israelites for what lied ahead.

So, I’m trying to change my perspective on raising hard-hearted RADlets. Instead of making a goal of getting through to our RADlets, my focus has changed to drawing closer to God. I try to ignore my kids’ hard-heartedness and focus on MY spiritual growth and the rest of the family who wants to do what is right. Whether our RADlets ever accept a good life or not is up to them and God. My job is to do what I know to be right, react and act as God would have me to, and leave the rest up to Him.

I need to overlook the attitude of other people who accuse and don't know any better about what God is really doing in our family. The Israelites didn't understand or trust that Moses was their deliverer. God uses broken, inexperienced, flawed people to do His most miraculous work. He never chose men or women that everyone else thought was best for a job. He shines His absolute best in those of us who rely heavily on Him because we are just broken vessels who love, live, and aren't afraid to die. RAD parents! That is what we are. We are broken vessels. We love with all of our hearts, we live to help those who need us most, and we don't fear death because often it would be a relief to what we endure. May God carry us on wings like an eagle, give us patience like Joseph in jail, give us faith like Daniel surrounded by lions, give us endurance like David hiding from Saul, and redeem us as He did Job in his darkest hour.

Copyright 2003​