A Task to Bear

By Kathryn Taylor

Lord, my soul is grieving over injustices fulfilled,
Which penetrate my heart as I'm attacked with great skill…
A betrayal beyond my fears from those held dear and close,
No one could understand for Heaven only knows-
I can't begin to explain the hurt binding up my heart,
As I try to find forgiveness for those tearing me apart…
They put aside compassion to protect their selfish gain…
All they want is what they want, regardless of the pain…
Why don't they want to know? Why don't they wish to see
What their careless actions do, to our poor whole family?
When Judas came to betray, You still called him friend…
You didn't say, "How could you?", or in any way defend…
I want to overturn their tables, when you'd have me turn the cheek…
I want to storm like an army, when You'd rather I be meek…
Your ways seem so contrary to what the world would do…
Help me to surrender and become much more like You…
Fill me with Your strength and love, for my own will never bear,
The task You've put before me and how You'd have me care-
Amen

Having a hateful, rebellious child in the family can cause a great deal of stress on a family. Whether dealing with step-child issues or children with RAD or other types of diagnosed problems, it is heart wrenching to deal with when all you are trying to do is love them and take care of them. What are we to do with the feelings of hurt and anger that are heaped upon us day after day? Our children's rejection and pain become our own as it transfers from them onto us. Over and over again, their rage spews forth, spilling into our lives until we nearly drown in it. Then, when their anger feels like it has become a part of us and they are calm once again.
It is no exaggeration to say that I have a lot of practice with this. I never imagined myself in this position as a mother. Rebellion, defiance, disrespect, and lying I expected from time to time. But to feel like I'm being stalked in my own home, or am a victim of a violent crime, or a target for a hitman, or all three at the same time is more than one can bear, especially packaged inside a cute, little child.



2 Tim 2:24-3:1
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
KJV

The deep hurt of being attacked within your own home... and it is a child you are trying to love and protect...