The Journey

By Kathryn Taylor

My heart is so very heavy….

Don’t know if I can make this rhyme…..

I watch this world spin ‘round me-

I’m feelin’ trapped in time……..

Those I love and care about

Are stepping into my shoes…

They’re headed on a journey

That I had once made too…..

This journey is a death walk,

That could take their very soul….

It leads to unseen prisons

Which never give parole……

I can see the blisters forming,

From the shoes that I once wore…

There are calluses on their hearts,

That were not there before-

Their emotions become their compass…..

I remember how it spun-

Spinning one way, than another,

Until I came undone…

Their stories become the fuel,

That empowers all they do,

Justifying their behavior-

Nothing is taboo….

Their baggage becomes their crown,

Worn proudly for all to see-

When I am looking at them now….

All I see………….is ME..

I try so hard to warn them….

I beg, and write, and plead..

Not even the tears of children,

Will cause them to heed-

God is not their guide

On this journey that they’re on…

And the deceiver’s well equipped

To make sure that they press on…

I remember the highs….

I remember the lows…

I remember the power….

I remember the foes…

I remember every step…..

I remember every breath…..

I remember never sleeping….

As though I walked in death….

Each and every memory

Is what makes me try again,

To get them to change coarse,

Before they end up…… where I’ve been…………

2009 All rights reserved, ã Kathryn Taylor

Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden

What happens when you see loved ones about to make the same mistake as you?...

When a family ends, the members do not just hurt and heal.  The members, especially the children (even grown ones), are changed forever, and not for the better.  I often think how much differently each child would have been if their family had stayed intact.  I see them make choices out of their woundedness.  I see them limp in areas from their past injuries, hurts and wounds that would not be there if it were’nt for me.  I live each day longing for contact with my kids if only for a moment out of their day. 

Hindsight is wisdom and it pulls no punches.  I cannot think of one thing that I left my family over that could not have been dealt with, without having left. 

A family is life.  When you end a family, it is no better than aborting an unborn baby.  You are taking life and death away from God, and we play god out of your own selfishness.  Yes, sometimes there may need to be a separation, BUT it must be done correctly.  That means with honor and integrity.  That means staying faithful to vows and the sanctity of marriage.  That means not tying yourself to another, physically or emotionally.  I learned this the hard way and there was NO good whatsoever, there was NO excuse whatsoever to go that way.  My biggest reason for doing it all wrong was that I didn’t care about myself anymore.  But, you know what, God only allows you to be that way for so long.  Like a child throwing a temper tantrum, a mom just waits it out then deals with the child when they come to their senses.  God also, comes to deal with us when it’s time.  And, if we love, fear, and respect Him, we will let Him comfort and speak to us.  The hard part is having to pick up all the things we destroyed while we were raging.

What they don’t know is the fate of the choice they are about to make…

What they don’t know is that only some of them will survive…

What they don't know is....there is a much better way to deal with their overwhelming predicament

KT