Together Forever
By Kathryn Taylor

What would you say if she were there,
Across from you- right in that chair,
The little girl you used to be,
Who needs you now to set her free?

I gaze at her within my mind-
The right words I cannot find-
She needs me so to reassure,
She’s safe from things that she endured-
Quickly compassion turns to anger-
I say to her as though a stranger,
“What is it that you want from me?
I wasn’t there, so let me be!”

Tears swell up her sad brown eyes-
She says,
“Dark secrets and family lies,
All these years, I did bear-
Life’s been cruel and so unfair-
I tried and tried all that I could 
To make them love me; no one would-
I realized you were my last hope-
While you grew, I tried to cope-
I thought you’d be there, thought you’d care-
I really need you; I’m really scared-“

“It’s over,” I screamed, “It’s done and passed!
Life’s been lived and fate’s been cast-
I’m sorry you’re hurt; I’m sorry you’re scared-
The load you carry, I’m not willing to bear-
What I remember is enough for me-
Find someone else- Please go, please!”
I couldn’t imagine her facial expression
After my selfish, ugly confession-
But, no matter how hard I plugged my ears, 
I could hear her sobbing and feel her tears-

She cried,
"You don’t remember, but you know I do,
And what happened to me, happened to you-
God promised me, when you grew up inside,
You’d be there to help- Don’t tell me He lied!
He held on so tight to my little hand,
‘Til you grew up and could understand-
Then He’d lead us through the healing place
And turn our sufferings into grace.”

The sobbing I heard was now coming from me-
How could I ignore her pitiful plea?
Her childish faith in a promise so old
Caused me to search for God’s love to unfold-
With a hold of His hand, I could reach out for hers,
Unless she had run from my cold, harsh words-
I wanted to hold her and tell her I’d help-
It’s then that I realized………I was hugging myself

All rights reserved, ã Kathryn Taylor
Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden

While dealing with my past, my therapist asked me to have a conversation with myself, at a very young age.  What is it I would say to her?  What would she tell me?... I sat there frozen.  I just did not know.  I was so disconnected from that little girl.. I went home to journal about it and wrote this...
It is very difficult to parent your children without dealing with your own personal issues and past first. Trials and tribulation are quick to expose our weaknesses and flaws. Are there people in your past that you need to forgive? Are there experiences in your past that you must come to terms with and let go? Are there things in your life that you react to because of fears that rule you from your past? Abandonment? Abuse? Rejection? Imperfections?

I do not believe that one can overcome and deal with the areas in their lives that need healing without the help of God. He is our creator. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Seek Him… Ask Him to show you where you need healing... Where you need to change to be a better parent and spouse... His Word promises that if you seek Him with all your heart... you will find Him.  

When She Cries by Britt Nicole
♫♫ ...She fights to find her way... She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray.....  She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries....♫♫