What do you do when you find out there's another woman?
To Her....
by Kathryn Taylor

he's the one  who chased....
he's the one who chose...
he's the one pretending,
and learned how to pose~
this man who won my heart,
the man he seemed to be,
slowly disappeared
as if he were a dream~
he was lying to you....
he was lying to me.....
he staged the play
for all to see~
he needed my love....
he needed your pity....
he needed you slutty
and a bit more pretty~
he cannot bond
to the one he's with...
the fear's too great,
so he must give
all the attention away
to anyone else,
so he zeros you in....
and me he shelves~
he can't handle the guilt...
he can't handle the shame....
so he creates a story
and falsely blames~
but all is sprung,
the game must end,
when someone discovers
he's lied once again~
He's not the victim....
he's not neglected....
he's hiding a secret,
forever protected~
but rather than own
and honor his heart,
he leaves only heartache
tearing others apart~
it's your turn now
to step into my shoes.....
he'll swallow you whole
then light the fuse........

All rights reserved, ã Kathryn Taylor
Copying without permission for non-personal use is forbidden


Watch To Her on youtube........
This is a most incredible link....... It defines what I have been living through this past year........It explains why I was feeling and sensing all that I was...it explains why he acted the way he did in the relationship and why intimacy was the way it was... amazing......
Do narcissists really hate women?
Malignant Self Love
by Dr. Sam Vaknin

".....The narcissist divides all women to saints and whores. He finds it difficult to have sex ("dirty", "forbidden", "punishable", "degrading") with feminine significant others (spouse, intimate girlfriend). To him, sex and intimacy are mutually exclusive rather than mutually expressive propositions. Sex is reserved to "whores" (all other women in the world).

This distinction resolves his constant cognitive dissonance ("I want her but...", "I don't need her but..."). It also legitimizes his sadistic urges (abstaining from sex is a major and recurrent narcissistic "penalty" inflicted on female "transgressors"). It tallies well with the frequent idealization-devaluation cycles the narcissist subjects his women to. The idealized females are sexless, the devalued ones – "deserving" of their degradation (sex) and the contempt that, inevitably, follows thereafter.

The narcissist believes firmly that women are out to "hunt" men and that this is almost a genetic predisposition. As a result, he feels threatened (as any prey would). This, of course, is an intellectualization of the real, absolutely opposite, state of things: the narcissist feels threatened by women and tries to justify this irrational fear by imbuing women with "objective" qualities which make them, to his mind, ominous................

.........Heterosexual narcissists desire women as any other red-blooded male does (even more so due to the special symbolic nature of the woman in the narcissist's life – humbling a woman in acts of faintly sadomasochistic sex is a way of getting back at mother). But he is frustrated by his inability to meaningfully interact with them, by their apparent emotional depth and powers of psychological penetration (real or attributed) and by their sexuality.

Their incessant demands for intimacy are perceived by the narcissist as a threat. He recoils instead of getting closer. The cerebral narcissist also despises sex and is bored by it, as we said before. Thus, caught in a seemingly intractable repetition complex, in approach-avoidance cycles, the narcissist becomes furious at the source of his frustration. Some of them set out to do some frustrating of their own. They tease (passively or actively), or they pretend to be asexual and, in any case, they turn down, rather cruelly, any attempt by a woman to court them and to get closer........

........The narcissist does his damnedest to avoid intimacy. He constantly lies about every aspect of his life: his self, his history, his vocations and avocations, and his emotions. This false data guarantee his informative lead, asymmetry, or "advantage" in his relationships. It fosters disintimisation. It casts a pall of cover up, separateness, mystery over the narcissist's affairs......
.........Narcissists have no interest in emotional or even intellectual stimulation by significant others. Such feedback is perceived as a threat. Significant others in the narcissist's life have very clear roles: the accumulation and dispensation of past Primary Narcissistic Supply in order to regulate current Narcissistic Supply. Nothing less but definitely nothing more. Proximity and intimacy breed contempt. A process of devaluation is in full operation throughout the life of the relationship......"

this excerpt was taken from Dr. Sam Vaknin, link and book posted above