............"When a child hurts the animal-they are doing it because they fear for their life. I used to scream at my son.........but after reading a few articles about them being survivors, I realized that, for instance, when they wanted love from the cat, and the cat scratched him, he would go into survivor mode & protect himself from that cat in the only way he knew how!  To hurt it back!  I mean, what kid doesn't squeeze cat's too hard.  Its just that RAD kids respond in fear & aggression.  Not good.  When they choke, kick, or twist the animal (mistreat), they are to be scooped up & empathized with. 
"I am so sorry I didn't protect you from the cat/dog. What can I do to keep you safe?  I know how much you fear for your life!"  My son BAWLED after I said that to him!!  I gave him a dog & cat Beanie baby that are HIS animals. NO animal touching allowed. NONE. NEVER.  ..........

So-FAST & FURIOUS RULE:
NO touching of ANY ANIMAL in the house. 
If they can keep a plant alive with no help from you for 6 months-move onto fish. If they can feed the fish & keep them alive for a year without help or prompting from you, then move onto the cats/dogs.  

Develop in them NURTURING. Right now they are just surviving. They respond correctly. All "I'm sorry! Oh! Did I hurt you?!"  But even Nancy Thomas has it in big bold letter in the front of her first chapter:  PROTECT YOUR PETS! They (the kids) leave a trail of destruction with other kids, pets & even their own body. Albert Schweitzer once said "Anyone, who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless, is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives." 

"The Criminal Hall of Shame" is filled with people who as children did nasty things to pets. If their parents or teachers had seen the warning signs or known how to counsel them, history might have been different. Animal abuse is not just a warning sign of a future adult criminal-it's a signal of a child who is deeply disturbed & needs help (Mike Capuzzo, Rocky Mountain news) Some children I have worked with have raped, injured or even killed numerous animals before someone even suspects it might be the child! DR Cline calls pets in the home of the unattached....... "endangered species"" ..........

em~Bella~ishments

The Truth About Cats and Dogs and Other Critters.........
What do you do with a child who hurts family pets?
Well....It's not like our pets can arm themselves........!!!!
Sorry I scratched you.....I thought you were a mouse....
Wow!!!!!.....Wouldn't this really mess with our kids!!!???  LOL
A voice from the frontlines:

....."I had a realization yesterday driving home from work. Our RAD child is totally "getting off" (pardon the crude term) on getting us upset.  This is giving him power.  Even though he doesn't like discipline or getting in trouble for his behavior, he will misbehave anyway.  The pay off is seeing us "lose control" or becoming emotional.  This gives him POWER!

Maybe I watched too many episodes of The Dog Whisperer....... Caesar (the dog trainer) says that dogs interpret anger as fear and therefore emotional people can not be pack leaders.  Ok, well I know my son is not a dog, but I thought, 'he needs us to be in control..... he does best when we are in control.'  Could we be giving him the impression that we are weak because he had the POWER to make us upset?

So, my husband and I sat down and talked about it.  We have decided to try very hard not to let him see emotion when he has pulled a fast one.  Just discipline.... and move on.  We are not going to "feed" the power monster anymore and maybe, just maybe, it will lessen.

The other realization I had is that I really, really need to start taking better care of myself.  My eye twiches constantly and my neck aches.  I work a physical job, so that is part of it.  But my job is nothing compared to my home life.

Anyway, just thoughts...

God bless from the front lines."
April